Give me a G! Give me a H! Give me an E! Give me a T! Give me another T! Give me an O! What does that spell? GHETTO! Okay, okay let me be serious. The entire experience hasn’t been ghetto, but the pandemic is like adding parsley on top of an already dull experience. If you remember from one of my earlier posts on relationships, I talked about my consecutively bad experiences and stated that although my past relationships were not that great, I was ready and willing to love again. Why? Because I know the experience is beautiful with the right person. I’ve witnessed the beauty with my sister and her relationship, with my parents and their bond, and with a whole bunch of other friends and staple celebrity couples and their dynamic with their partners. I have a front row seat to genuine relationships filled with love, respect, joy, happiness, and adventure! Eventually, I do want to be in the driver seat. So if it’s not obvious, yes, I am still single and yes I have been trying. Not wholeheartedly I can admit, but trying nevertheless.
We are in a whole panoramic. So what does dating look like in times like this? It means that I met my prospects virtually, as in they slid in my dms or via hinge (I lasted 4 whole days on hinge, I’ll talk about this experience in a second). We would go back and forth via dms or messaging on the hinge app. The fact that I responded meant that I found them attractive, I’d peep their vibe and how they converse, we’d message non stop for days until it got to the point where we’d progress to facetime. Then, the nonstop communication process repeats itself, but this time via facetime. We’d facetime for a cool minute, days on days of facetime, and eventually we both got to a point where we wanted to meet up but we remember we’re in the middle of a pandora. So now I’m in a predicament, do I meet up with this person who claims they’ve been socially distancing and potentially risk getting a life threatening virus or do I continue to facetime knowing this pangea is not ending anytime soon so a virtual relationship is all this will ever be.
Luckily, with my personality, I lose interest QUICK *actually I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not*! It’s not that people aren’t interesting…kind of…it’s just that it’s really hard to keep my interest virtually. I can only take so many “Wyd” “What’s your favorite color, food, etc.” “What’d you eat for breakfast, lunch, dinner,” type of conversation fillers. People need to understand, especially now more than ever, since we’re living through a pancreas some people like myself are having the exact. same. conversation. over. and over. and over.The saying, “This feels like a broken record,” has been my dating experience and it is G-H-E-T-T-O! I respectfully ended many “situationships???” I don’t even know the proper term anymore when you’re getting to know someone. My generation comes up with so many terms and rules, I genuinely can’t even keep up. Anywho, these situationships didn’t make it to in person “dates.”
By the way, I’m aware that when you’re first starting to get to know someone. The conversation may be slightly dull until a level of comfort is reached. However, PRO TIP, asking someone what they are doing every 30 mins is not the way to go. Ask questions that spark conversations, that can get more dialogue going.
BUT, there are a few people that I did connect with! Yes, there are three people I’ve met since last March, the start of the pandaexpress, that I met up with in person. Yes, I believed they were socially distancing and we planned a date to the best of our abilities with all that’s going on and physically met in person (judge me if you will). You know what? They weren’t bad dates. At all. One was even a whole date weekend type of ordeal. Multiple dates happened at that.
Sounds good, right? So…. what happened? Let me explain. Again, we are in the middle of a pandemonium. The second I peeped they were hanging out with people outside of their quarantine bubble, I immediately lost interest. Harsh right? LMAO stall me, I’m still working through some trust issues. If you tell me you’re only hanging out with XYZ and then I find out it’s ABC and XYZ, I just get an uneasy feeling because, why would you lie about something that puts my health at risk? If a person would lie about that, they’d lie about anything (this is what I internally told myself as justification for me ending things lol). However, if from the jump, I was aware it was ABC and XYZ then I would have taken the proper precautions. As in, getting tested for COVID prior to meet ups and isolating until said meet up. I will admit, internally, part of me enjoys my single life. I’m still trying to decide if I genuinely want a relationship right now in this stage of my life or if I’m going with the motions and a relationship just seems next or ideal.
Where is my dating life now? WELLLLLL. I’m possibly, more than likely, moving out of California in June. So, I don’t want to start anything serious and then uproot and move. I also need to sort through my thoughts and decide if I really want a relationship so my future partner can have all of me invested in that relationship. However, if shots are still being taken in my direction and I think the person is a good prospect, I’ll just enjoy that experience with no expectations, let them know I’m possibly moving soon, and let them decide whether they want to continue with their efforts.
But let’s switch gears and talk about Hinge! I know it’s popular now and I currently know 3 couples who met via Hinge. As in, I know it’s a great app if you have the willingness to sift through the not so great people.
Very briefly about my hinge experience, whew! I don’t think I have the capacity for dating apps. For me, it was a broken record times 50! I had about 5 separate conversations happening simultaneously, three were EXACTLY THE SAME. The other 2 got my phone number and then I deactivated my account. That was the extent of my Hinge experience. Out of the 2 that got my number, 1 was a platonic exchange. I just couldn’t do it. I know it works for a lot of people, so don’t knock it until you actually try it yourself. It may be the hopeless romantic in me, but I want to meet someone organically. Whether it’s at the park, beach, out with friends, someone who I’ve already met in person via school, clubs, so forth and so on, I want it to be that type of meet. But, I know this pandemic has hindered that chance drastically. Now I’m content with the idea that it will more than likely happen via social media or another online platform.
Nevertheless, I know that love is a beautiful experience and I’m aware that dating takes patience. I don’t mind waiting, no matter how long it takes, to meet the person that makes this whole process worth it. For now, as always, I’m enjoying my personal time, family time, and platonic relationships. For anyone else currently dating during these times, be patient, be open minded, make sure a relationship is something you genuinely want, and enjoy each experience as they come! Why? Because that’s #WhatChiSaid! See you next time!
If you’re dating during this pandemic, I want to know your story too! The good, the bad, and all the in between!!! Leave a comment, comment on my instagram post, or email me with your experience(s).
~These are just my thoughts and opinions
~If you enjoyed, share with a friend!
~Comments and/or feedback always welcomed!
One thought on “Dating in a Pandemic: My Experience”