Part 1- Be Impeccable With Your Words
Impeccable: (adj.) in accordance with the highest standards of propriety; faultless. Not liable to sin.
Guess who’s back back back? Back again gain gain? Chi is back back back, tell a friend friend friend!
*If you want to get straight into this post skip this next paragraph*
Before I get into this post, I want to quickly talk about why I haven’t had a post in awhile. When I first created WhatChiSaid, I wanted it to be honest, vulnerable, and create a platform for people to start dialogue with themselves and with others in hopes that it leads to positive trends in their healing journey. The goal has always been sentimental and emotional impact from an honest and open heart. If it’s one thing you’ve taken away from my posts, both on this site and on my instagram, I hope that it’s healing isn’t linear. I’ve been as transparent as I can be without giving away too much of my personal life. *You know what you post on the internet never goes away and people love to lurk* Over these past few months I was reminded of a very traumatic experience and it took a toll on my mental state. I didn’t feel right posting any posts when I knew it was coming from a place of pain and hurt instead of love and healing. I don’t want to paint an inaccurate picture, I was still fine overall! I just needed to take time to myself to remind me of what makes me so great, because I’m a dynamic, strong, and beautiful being inside and out and can forget that at times. These past few months were filled with pouring into myself with a lot of park and beach days relaxing, reading and writing, figuring out my post grad life, and pouring into my platonic relationships as well as with family members and it’s been refreshingly amazing. I love WhatChiSaid, it’s my blog baby that has probably helped me more than it has anyone else and I’m ecstatic to be back with new posts! If you aren’t already, subscribe below and follow @whatchisaid_ on instagram…now lets get into today’s topic!
A few months ago I was introduced to my new favorite book, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. If you had a conversation with me within the time frame I’ve stopped posting, I probably found some way to mention this book in the conversation! Inspiring is an understatement and I best describe it as a roadmap to a peace of mind. To quickly summarize, it is based on Toltec wisdom and it offers four agreements we should make to ourselves, that if used in practice can reconstruct our lives in the best way possible. Hence introducing us to a new world of personal transformation where we stop limiting ourselves from the potential of being great! Sounds deeply amazing right? Well, IT IS! I loved it so much! It has helped me tremendously in my healing process to the point where I decided to do my reopening blog segment on it. Over the next 8 weeks *because WhatChiSaid is every other Wednesday* I’ll dive into a four part segment catered to The Four Agreements. Welcome to part one, agreement one-Be Impeccable With Your Word.
“Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love” -Don Miguel Ruiz
Don Miguel Ruiz states this agreement as the most important with reasons being we use our words to express and manifest. He actually calls our words a force…a power. I agree wholeheartedly, but just like all power it can be used for good or evil and we are the deciders of how we use said power.
Before reading this book, I defined sin as something you do that distances yourself from God. Don defines it as everything you feel or believe that goes against yourself. What a game changing definition and it makes so much sense! God made us in his image, so when we go against ourselves, we are going against our creator. Being impeccable with your words means to be without sin with you word, to not say or express words that go against yourself and others!
Our words are so powerful and when used negatively can create a domino effect of negativity. I’m going to start with speaking ill of others first. A few weeks ago, someone asked me how an individual who is no longer a friend of mine is doing. They were unaware we no longer communicated because some situations are meant to stay between you and the person involved . I was READY to go in about how much I dislike said individual, I was ready to run their name into the GROUND. I kid you not I had a full clip of insults forming at the tip of my tongue. I literally opened my mouth ready to fire and paused and said to myself, “Be Impeccable With Your Words Chi.” Instead of spewing the hurricane of insults that first came to mind, I ended up saying… “Honestly, I have no idea how they are doing. We don’t talk anymore,” and I left it at that. Mind you I do this normally when I don’t keep in contact with people and someone asks me about them, this person in particular was triggering.
If I had said what I initially wanted to say, I would’ve painted an absolutely horrible image in the other person’s mind about the individual they asked me about. I would have planted a biased seed of negativity in this person’s head solely because of MY bad experience. In the words of Don Miguel Ruiz, I would’ve spread word poison. The person I am no longer friends with, their character is NOT solely based on their experience with me. Just because I had a bad experience with them, doesn’t mean everyone they come in contact with will have that same outcome, but with my words I had the potential to make someone dislike a person they never personally known…that’s power. Another reason I stopped myself in my tracks was because as soon as I was about to speak, I no longer took what they did to me personally and in that same breath where I said I have no idea, I became at peace with the situation. But I’ll dive more into not taking things personally in part 2!
Continuing with how we speak to others and the power of the tongue, imagine spewing word poison to someone with a deep rooted insecurity you knew nothing about or someone with a fragile personality. Keep that imaginiaton running, let’s say out of anger or frustration you called them ugly, useless, stupid, or any other insult that has a connection to confidence…now let’s imagine they believe and internalize your insults!
“Whenever we hear an opinion and believe it, we make an agreement, and it becomes part of our belief system” –Don Miguel Ruiz
Wow, right? Would you be okay with knowing someone is walking around with a cloud of insecurity hovering over their heads based off of your words that they took as truth? Very powerful…but more so villain like and not okay. I’m no angel and have for sure spread word poison… ew right? I used to say it was my defense mechanism but in reality, looking back, 9 times out of 10 I was projecting and we can only thank God for the growth because I can’t imagine doing that now intentionally.
I’m not going to talk about being impeccable when it comes to self too much because I’ve discussed this on my instagram. But to touch base, speak to yourself with love always, even on the harder days when you are feeling down. The power our words hold is mighty. Our words can define, reshape, and or create realities. When you speak negatively about yourself enough, at some point you’re going to start believing it! As soon as you believe it, you have now defined your reality built on the idea that you’re not good enough…you’d be living in a lie, because you are good enough. You are more than good enough, you are the author of your life story, the playmaker! Yes, God is the map and assists you on your journey, but you’re the one that gets to decide your destination. As long as your breathing your life has purpose, the world is impacted by your presence, and you simply being…surviving in this world, is a reflection of your inner strength. Give yourself more credit! Look in the mirror every morning and learn to love the person looking back, and it starts with your words. Tell yourself how amazing you are and why. You are and will always be enough and you should remind yourself of such daily.
These past two months I wasn’t posting, I still affirmed to myself DAILY of how amazing I am because I was made uniquely in Gods image and my spirit is strong and beautiful. I always speak about myself kindly…well because words are powerful, so be impeccable with it! Why? Because that’s #WhatChiSaid! Okay, okay because that’s what Don Miguel Ruiz said! See you next time! Don’t forget to subscirbe below so you can be notified anytime a new post drops!
Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
The Voice of Knowledge by Don Miguel Ruiz
You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Live an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
~These are just my thoughts and opinions
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~Comments and/or feedback always welcomed!